Apology for the Suicide

You may condemn the suicide, but you can't deny the suicide respect. This respect is not a platitude given to a nameless dead. For those who have known great pain and sorrow, the suicide is a fallen comrade whom we can empathize with and think of with tenderness and admiration. Yes, even admiration. 

I am speaking about the suicide that looked at life in the eye and was disgusted with the sight. I'm referring to those crestfallen at the world they were thrown into. I'm talking about the suicide who decided that the best course to take in life is to end it.  If it takes courage to continue, it also takes courage to quit. 

There is much to say about everything not being all that bad; I agree with them wholeheartedly. It takes continued existence and patience to be able to understand that fact, even vaguely. Maybe the suicide would have done better to wait to have been able to see that truth, but the suicide knows it is excruciating to do so. One can still smile, but the suicide knows that even that can be painful. There are days of dark and light, but it is that continuous cycle that exhausts and enervates the suicide. 

The suicide can be admired for honesty and sincerity. The suicide is honest enough to admit that this life is too much, is of no absolute value, and is absurd. The suicide has decided to end it, and has followed through. In an ironical sense, the suicide lived for what he or she believed in, only it led to the suicide ending his or her life. 

One can say that the suicide is weak and foolish. That has some truth. The suicide is weak and the act of suicide is the admission of that. But let's remember that not everyone is strong. More accurately, not everyone can find enough reason to aspire for strength and persevere. Those born strong may find this quizzical, but those who grew strong from weakness would be sure to understand. We may disapprove of weakness, but it exists nonetheless. The allowance for strength is also the allowance for weakness. 

Let us not forget that the only shoes we wear are our own. We can only approximate how another's life is lived, but to truly know of it is impossible. What the suicide sees, feels, thinks, and believes is a matter for the suicide alone. If we can't respect the suicide's decision, we should respect his or her agency and freedom. We might think the suicide mistaken with his or her views and action, but it's still the suicide's decision to make. It was the suicide's pain and revulsion, not ours. 

The suicide is all of us. For those who are unaffected, they are to be envied like how you would envy the blissful ignorant. One can say that those who contemplated suicide and desisted more deserve our respect. But the suicide also deserves some respect for lasting as long as he or she can. The suicide may have chosen to retire from the battle early, but you can't say that the suicide hasn't put up any fight, nor has suffered any wounds. Even if a soldier runs away after the first volley, the fact that he stood up to face it before fleeing is not without merit. 

Should we pity the suicide? The suicide would have no need for it. You may say the same for respect. Perhaps, but respecting the suicide is more for our benefit than the suicide's. Again, the suicide is you and me. It takes some understanding of the human condition and magnanimity to see the suicide in a gentler light. It takes an admission of our humanity and how some of us have lesser vessels than others. But even so, we have to recognize the presence of struggle, no matter if it was given up. 

This is not to condone suicide nor to encourage it. This is just an apology for the suicide. This is not an appeal for charity but understanding. The suicide is our brethren. This is more so because of the fact that they have leapt off the edge. The suicide has shown us another possibility--it may not be the best, but it is a legitimate one for us being human born.