Being rational is always forwarded as the epitome of human evolution. That man’s capacity for advanced rationality is his main distinction from the rest of the animal kingdom.
What’s not to like about rationality? With rationality, everything is easier. Everything is well-defined, governed by rules and principles. This eliminates much of the confusion and misunderstanding which are the cause of most human suffering.
So, let’s perform a thought experiment. Let’s say that we conduct our social and personal relations through rational means and intercourse, void of the emotional and non-verbal nuances that we find in daily interaction. Let’s assume that we are as we are, only that we are concise, factual, stiff, robot-like, and well, rational.
This is how I imagine it. For example, you have a guy confessing his love for a girl:
Roboguy: Greetings to you, my fellow human of the opposite sex, with the given name of Robogirl. I have some information to present to you which is of utmost importance to my present and future psychological and physical well-being. And perhaps, it could also affect yours as well. Would you spare me some of your time and listen to my report?
Robogirl: Greetings as well, Roboguy, my fellow human of the male sex. Since you mentioned that it is something essential to your well-being and mine, I find it within the bounds of reason and ethics to listen to what you have to report.
Roboguy: I am grateful for your understanding, Robogirl. For an easier understanding of my report, I think it expedient to provide you with the context from which this knowledge emanated from.
For the past weeks I have been constantly bombarded with images of your physical form and facial profile to the point that it interferes with my ability to concentrate on tasks and my capacity for nocturnal repose. Even during your absence, your mental image has been persisting in my consciousness regardless of my will. Another thing to note during your absence is that a feeling of isolation is initiated within me. It seems I am urged by some inexplicable drive to be within the immediate vicinity of your presence. However, when I am within your presence, certain biological functions of mine demonstrate erratic behavior such as: nervousness and slight fear, increased heartbeats and palpitations, and a small amount of dizziness and sweating; then my psyche is also burdened by an unfounded feeling of timidity and embarrassment. All of these with a strangely developed tender regard towards your person, even though that kind of emotional disposition is reserved only for humans related by blood. Together with this disposition of tenderness is the increased proclivity of my imagination to fabricate scenes of you and me together engaging in pleasurable activities and being fully satisfied with each other’s presence.
Moreover, I am consumed with the urge to make your person as one my possessions. Although I do find the idea irrational, as owning another person is an affront to personal autonomy and would constitute as a case of demeaning objectification, but for the sake of accuracy and honesty I mention this fact to you. In conjunction with the urge for possession is an increased sexual desire for your person. And although taken rationally, your person does not entirely match my ideals for a human of the opposite sex, there is a sense of inevitability regarding my feeling of attraction towards your person.
Given all of these symptoms, with much analysis and comparison with previous reports from resource books, such as romance literature, and popular audio-visual media, such as adolescent television programs and soap operas, I concluded that I am harboring the emotion of love towards your person. As such, it is within the definition of being in the state of love that I make this fact known to the subject of love, and inquire if the said subject also has the same disposition towards my person. If not, then at the least to be granted permission to engage in the act of courting to engender the same feeling in the said subject.
With all that previous information serving as premises, I now declare that I am in the state of love towards you, Robogirl. Do you harbor the same emotions towards my person? And if not, will you allow me to engage in the act of courtship?
Robogirl: First of all, I am grateful for your feelings. Also, I have listened intently to your report and I do believe that you have sufficient grounds for calling that emotion love. The reason why I state this is due to the fact that I also have the similar experiences regarding your person and has also made consultation with the same research materials. That stated, it’s no longer rational to engage in courtship. I declare as well my state of being in love with your person.
Roboguy: I am grateful as well for your resonance with my emotion. I believe this situation merits an affectionate contact of our lips. Would you permit us engaging in such an act?
Robogirl: I believe it is but what is proper and expected in this situation. I do allow your proposed action to be executed. But an additional question: should we need to embrace or is lip contact just enough?
Roboguy: If it would not cause you discomfort, I would prefer the addition of skin contact as it engenders closeness and satisfies the physical urges for tactile contact.
Robogirl: You have a good point, Roboguy. We should ensure efficiency in the relationship. But even so, may I remind you that there should be limits and phases in our conduct of this relationship. I would permit an embrace, but the usage of tongue is prohibited. Perhaps after the second date, that would be optimal.
Roboguy: Of course, rules and limits are a must. So is planning. How about sexual intercourse?
Robogirl: There are several factors to consider such as culture and religious mores. But personally, if we achieve the right amount of emotional harmony and enough alcoholic consumption to lower our inhibitions by the third date, then that would also be optimal.
Roboguy: I have no objections to that. So, should we engage in the kiss?
Robogirl: Let us proceed so we can continue on to other matters. Remember to meet halfway, and to close your eyes.
Roboguy: Of course, that is but rational.
And so, the two kissed. It’s quite romantic in its own way.
I would have had a version where the guy was dumped, perhaps that would have been more interesting. But if that was the way that we did life, it makes me smile. It does have a certain charm to it. What do you think?
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