The problem with looking good is that you’ve got to keep looking good. It’s a vicious cycle. It’s running just to stay in place. Look good one day, and you have to look good until you die. Just let up one day, then all that effort in the past go down the drain. Just show one moment of ugliness and you’re exiled immediately to the country of the hideous. You become guilty of deception; of hiding what you truly are. You’re now a conniving, lying, delusional megalomaniac who thinks you’re something you’re not.
Exaggerated? Maybe. But it’s true nonetheless. The mildest criticism is “bad hair day.” But deep inside, you think that that person is not as cute as you thought that person was. The image (or illusion) was shattered. That person was just human. Then you shake your head and raise your fists to heaven.
This fact, which I had to think about for some time, is instinctive to women. Why else would they have a compact mirror, blush-on, face powder, lipstick, brush, comb, cologne, lotion and some other cosmetic contraption stuffed in their little purses all the time? You’d think that their bags or purses are like Doraemon’s pocket with all the things stuffed in there. (Of course, not all women are like that, but I would assume that at least a compact mirror is universal. It’s like a proof of womanhood. Like they’re born with it.) Then, think about why women take a long time when they go to the latrine. It’s possible that half the total time men spend on a date is spent waiting for a girl to get out of the girls' room. Also think about why women take a long time to bathe, dress and get ready to go out. It’s instinctive to women: You’ve got to look good, and more important, you’ve got to keep looking good.
To be fair, men are not much different. Men have their hair gels and aftershaves. They also dress up to the latest fashion. But I think what’s distinctive to men is buffing up. “Check my biceps, baby” – perhaps that’s the closest to sprucing up men can get. Men are natural slobs, so it’s hard to think of a guy being cosmetic. But they say there’s a new brand of man around. The “Metrosexual” male. I just shrug my shoulders and sigh. You just can’t get it out of your head that, maybe, just maybe, those guys are gay. Maybe. And I can be dead wrong. But with my very limited social circle, all the metrosexuals I know turned out to be gay. (They just didn’t have the courage to come out at first. Chalk one up for liberal society and individual freedom.) But the main difference between men and women on the matter is that men do not exactly know that they have to keep looking good. When you tell it to them, they’ll go: “Really? I haven’t thought of it like that.” Then you can just imagine women going: “Duh!”
Regarding this, I remember Calvin’s (Calvin and Hobbes) parents talking about how the media and society is built around making people unhappy with themselves. All those cosmetic commercials and ads, then you see how pretty, handsome, sexy, or flawless that star on TV is, then look at yourself in the mirror – it can be quite depressing. They’re just promoting a product, but subliminally, what they’re telling you is: “You don’t look like me, ergo, you’re ugly. You must be miserable. Buy my stuff, and perhaps you’ll be like me. Then, probably, you’ll be happy.” It’s quite funny. You’re too fat, too thin, your hair is too short, too long. You have dry skin, you have dark skin, you have pale skin. But at least these ads point out a simple truth. That we are human and that we are not perfect. And more important, that we vehemently deny this fact everyday of our lives. We buy stuff to keep the denial and illusion up.
One can object: “It’s just a matter of grooming and personal hygiene. It doesn’t have to be as bad as you say it is.” True. But I’m too stupid to draw the line between being well-groomed to wanting to look good. Maybe the line is blurred. Grooming for me is taking care of yourself so that you don’t stink, and don’t get sick because you stink. Like I said, I’m pretty stupid on these matters. I guess I’ll let you tell me what is what one of these days.
So am I saying to stop looking good? Hell no! If women stopped prettying up themselves, it’s a terrible world to live in. It’s a world not worth living in. So, what am I really saying? Did I just contradict myself? I don’t know. Right now, I don’t really care.
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